One old bon mot that I've repeated for decades is "the height of American decadence is diet dog food"; not only are we fat, we wind up getting our pets fat too. Other pet-pampering products can wind up on that list, as entrepreneurs have discovered novel ways to pamper pooches and coddle cats.
However, I think I found the near zenith of luxury treatment; a "canine calling card" removal joint here in Lexington called What's the Scoop whose van I was stopped behind while commuting the other day? Their FAQ page steals most of the good one-liners from you, including "It's a CRAPPY job BUT someone has to do it" (caps in original) and "we're #1 in the #2 business". I have someone from my circle of friends in Midland who does dog walking for a living, but this is the first time I've seen this waste-removal service done.
Would you pay $10/week to have someone clear your yard of "steaming piles" (as we used to call bad essays in the fisking era)? Their van had a cute dog with a literal steaming pile (with the curly lines rising from the piles to indicate steam) of you-know-what behind him. That seems to be a bit of a decadent expenditure, but affordable enough where you'd at least think about taking them up on it.
Whoever owned the van had a servant's heart on multiple levels; the rear license-plate bracket had an evangelical message, something like "Heaven is free; Jesus paid for you." Washing feet and cleaning crap out of people's back yards isn't a bad matched set.
American free markets at work. Would a planned economy plan for such a service? Probably not.
Comments