I'm in an odd spot right now. I'm looking for a way to best serve God.
That seems a bit idealistic and self-serving rather than God-serving, but I'm hitting a wall in my life. It has been almost seven years since I had a full-time job and a year since I left the part-time tutoring job that was my primary outlet since losing that college teaching job in 2009.
I'd like to help in church, but have few good outlets available. My nerves don't deal with noise and hyperactivity well, so children's ministry isn't a good fit, especially if Children's Church is more high-octane and high volume than not. I'm not a church elder, so teaching adults isn't an option, and I don't have any significant musical talent to be a part of their music team. I'm not a handyman. My office skills don't have any significant outlets given that they have a church secretary, and as a guy, I would likely have not been considered for such a position.
I might be able to do something small, like usher or help with the sound system, but the greeter-types that do that already are more jovial than I and I would be starting from scratch with sound.
What can I do in the church? Not too much, at least not in the church I'm attending currently.
What can I do outside the church? Not too much, either.
I'm blocked from college teaching for the time being, given that anxiety attacks drove me out of the classroom in 2009. I'm learning how to handle those better, but the trend towards wanting practitioner-teachers precludes me, since I've not had a chance to have a non-academic position in finance and am unlikely to get a chance to have one at age 55. I'd have to find a school that is cool with no finance experience and will give me a third chance to get back into the classroom after being found wanting twice before.
I wouldn't mind teaching at the K-12 level, but lack both experience and a education degree. Some states let you teach without a ed degree, but Michigan is not one of them. I jumped through the hoops to get Florida certification a decade ago, but failed to convince a school to hire me after a dozen interviews.
I could try subbing, but that won't provide a living wage sufficient to get out of my parent's house. It could be an avenue of service if I want to kiss having a place of my own goodbye and I could manage to handle a bunch of unruly kids who love to terrorize subs (or any authority figure, for that matter, my classmates were death to subs 40 years ago and today's kids are likely no better if not worse).
I have an accounting degree. That at least has gotten me some nibbles. I've had two interviews in the last month, one that turned me down and one that I'm waiting to here back from. Those two interviews for accounting jobs are the first since coming back to Midland in early 2010.
I have accounting experience, but none that fits a normal accounting subset. I did the books for my own computer store and ran herd over a variety of Medicare and Medicaid issues for a hospital for three years, but not the "3 years of payroll/2 years of accounts receivable/2 years of adjusting entries" niches that employers are looking for. Entry-level jobs are few and far between and are most often reserved for new college grads rather than misfit former college professors with a PhD in Finance trying to earn a living.
Thus, when we get sermons pushing us to use our talents and serve, I ask "where?"
I'm not adverse to hard work, but I'm not in great shape to do manual labor or work that would keep me on my feet for hours on end. I've gone through stress tests at the hospital this week as a prologue to getting an exercise regime going, but it will take months to get to a point where I can keep up with an on-your-feet job. Then, I'd have to find someplace who could actually use me as opposed to some teenager with less experience and less scruples.
I took a stab at insurance sales, but I'm too honest to be a telemarketer; it just didn't work for my spirit.
I can write. Facebook might not me linking to this since I don't have a following for the page and don't want to make it a capital F Facebook Page quite yet, but I can write. Is that my service?
Or is merely being an example of perseverance, of not giving up and looking for some pills to expedite meeting my Maker? There are times where I feel of such little use that the idea (very briefly) comes to mind, only to be banished with the idea that I am of value and I am of use. What that use is is very elusive.